Belladonna Rose Black
by inupuppy1596
Summary: Belladonna is convinced that she is nobody and is meant to live her life forgotten in a sea of people. Even after starting at Hogwart nothing much changes in her life, that is unstill third year. When her classmates start staring and following her in the hallway. Now Belladonna will learn what it really means to be a Black. Can she survive curses dark lords and worse of all FAMILY?
1. Chapter 1

_**Belladonna Rose Black**_

 _ **Chapter One**_

 _ **Nobody And Somebody**_

* * *

 **AN: Hello my dear reader. At the urging of my sister I rewrote parts of chapter one and did some editing. Sadly that means I have not finish chapter two yet but it it almost done and with any luck I should have it up for you soon. I hope you all enjoy slight changes to chapter one that I have made and thank you all for reading. Also if you see any mistakes please feel free to let me know.**

 **Warnings: I would like to point out in to you all that this story's rating may change in the future. This story will have mention of child abuse and dark theme. So no bitching because you have been warned.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter in anyway, shape or form**

* * *

I still couldn't believe it was real. Even as I sat on the train hidden behind a magical barrier that would soon take me to a magical school. The idea of it was laughable, really it was. Who would have thought just a few months ago that I would be going to a school for magic. Me of all people.

I never thought anything like this would happen to me. My life up to this point had been a little like watching an old horror movie in black and white.

I'm sorry I'm getting ahead of myself. But you see nothing good has ever happen to me and now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. My name is Belladonna Black. I grew up in West Falls Orphanage where you literally have to work for your meals. Nothing is free. That is the first lesson you learn at the age of three.

Anyways about three months ago I got a letter. Me!

But, there it was written in bright green ink plain as can be. Belladonna Rose Black. The letter showed that I was somebody and that I didn't just appear out of thin air. The letter join my only other keepsakes.

The Orphanage has a strict policy on things that are left with the kids who live there. So, when I was found wrapped in a dark purple blanket with a ragged stuff dog I got to keep them.

Sadly that was all they found with me. They only reason they knew my name was because it was stitched in the front bottom right corner of the blanket. And what a name it was. Back then I had no idea what kind of trouble the name would cause me.

After the letter a woman came to take me shopping and gave me a key to my vault, that's right mine. We got lots of NEW clothing and even more books most of which weren't on the list. Potion ingredients and many other things. Not to mention my very own 13 and 1/4 inch wand made of cherry wood and a Unicorn hair, delicate.

But, the best thing that I got that day was a small black puppy that looked just like my stuff dog. When the Professor said that dogs weren't normally allowed at Hogwarts, my sweet pup turned into a cat and then an owl . The Professor said that he wasn't a dog at all but, rather a shapeshifter. Which only appeared in front of their familiars. She went on to say that no one could take him away from me or make me give him up.

After that I was sent back to the Orphanage to wait for September first and finely that day has come. There I was sitting in an empty compartment with Paramore waiting to pull into the station. The trip to the school took over eight hours. Most of which was spent alone reading a book. The only times I saw anyone was when a brown haired girl came looking for a toad and a blonde boy looking for Harry Potter. Other than those two and a food service witch I was alone.

Paramore had turned into a hamster and was hiding in my robe pocket as I left the train and headed for the boats with the rest of the first years. The castle was daunting in the moonlight. Towering over the little boat I was in like a monster in the night. I almost wished I hadn't decided to come to this school. But as scared as I was I knew this place held the answers I hope to find.

That was how my first year at Hogwarts started and over the school year and then the next I was just another face in the halls that nobody noticed. It was almost like I was at the Orphanage and was just nobody again.

But, then the summer of third year came and I was taken out of the Orphanage early then sent to the Leaky Cauldron. To wait for the start of the year. No one told me why they only told me to stay there. I was use to following orders and I had no problems following these once. Then as I was boarding the train people started staring at me and whispers followed me in the halls. The schools potion master took a sudden dislike of me and the new D.A.D.A. professor only seem to notice me during role call. Anyone else might have demanded to know what was going on. But in all honesty I didn't care.

* * *

As the days to Christmas drew closer Harry Potter a Gryffindor of the same year someone who never once even looked at me a Ravenclaw. Cornered me with his two friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. While I was reading on the fifth floor by the window that had a small seat that Paramore loved.

"How are you related to Sirius Black" Harry said in a growl. My age old instinct that had been beaten into me screamed at me to run. But with no way out I stood and with a shaking voice I said " I don't know who that is and I have no family." I try to walk away but, the path was blocked as he said "then why is it that everyone thinks you are his daughter."

My fear was becoming overwhelming as Paramore started growling in my arms as I whispered " I don't have any family I grew up in West Falls Orphanage and I am a nobody. Nothing."

I never really had to deal with anyone at this school and being face with the wizarding worlds hero Harry Potter wasn't an easy start. I like the rest of the school had heard tales of his feats over the last two years. Killing a professor and saving the school from a giant snake that could kill you with a look. The headmaster seem to have a need for the whole school to know what Harry did. But never once had I seen the information outside the school. If the men had that much power and used it to protect Harry Potter. What would he do to me if I was seen as a threat to the boy.

I could feel the tears at the corner of my eyes. As my purple blanket that I had been covering up with started to heat up.

In a bright light the blanket burned my hands and Paramore howled in pain as it burned him to. Throwing the blanket off of me . It showed the undder side of it which had a mostly blank family tree that hadden been there before. I could make out a few places where it look like someone had pulled the stitching out. The only part that I could read was my name in green stitching at the bottom. Next to it connected in a dashed red line was Harry Potter. I look to the boy hero. As his green eyes met my blue eyes a familiar sharp pain rush through my body making me scream and fall flat on my face.

It was a week later that I woke up to find myself in the hospital wing covered in my blanket with Paramore at my side. Standing at the foot of my bed was Professor Lupin his golden eyes sent shivers through my body. For other reasons then the wolf I new him to carrie. He stared at me with eyes that were cold like ice. When he notice that I was awake he turn from me and called for Madam Pomfrey. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes at the cold shoulder I was given. Not that I wasn't use to it.

The days went by and I had taken to spending all my free time hiding outside curled up with Paramore under my blanket. It was during one of these times after I had fallen asleep while reading. That I half woke to a voice saying "I'm sorry my darling that all this is happening to you, I'm so sorry baby." The voice was thick as if filled with tears. I could feel a heavy hand on my head as the voice came again "Daddy loves you pup and he's going to make them see how wrong they were." I drifted back into slumber without fully registering what had transpired.

Later that night as I was making my way inside I over heard Dumbledore say that if they hurryed maybe two lives could be spared. Then just as I was about to turn the corner Hermione and Harry came running down the hall in the opposite direction knocking me off my feet. Neither stop to help me, not that I thought they would.

* * *

It was on the train ride home after school let out that I got a real shock. About an hour after we pulled out Harry came to my compartment alone.

"Belladonna" He said his voice dry as if he felt guilty about something but I didn't understand what it could be. I didn't expect him or anyone else to give me a second thought I was nobody after all. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier in the year and making you fall and what not. Um I just thought you would want to know that your dad is innocent of all crimes. It was really Peter Pettigrew who did it."

I just stare at him. The idea that he would apologize to me for anything was mind blowing. Then he had to go and say something about my supposed dad. I didn't have a dad I was nothing. Nobody. And a nobody couldn't have a dad. I was an orphan and that was all I would ever be. It was then I realized he was holding out a letter to me. I took it with shaking hands. On the front was my name in curly handwriting. I open the letter not caring that he was still there.

 _'Dear Pup,_

 _There so many things I wish I could say to you. I hope you believed Harry when he says that I'm innocent. I use to spend my nights wondering where you where and what was happening to you my angel. You've had a harder life than I ever wanted for you. If there was anything I could do to make it better nothing would stop me. There is nothing I wouldn't give you or do for you. But as it is I can't even see you. I know you are beautiful just like your mother and so smart. My little girl you've grown so much and I've missed it all. I hope more then anything that you can forgive me for not being there for you the way I should've have been. This wasn't how your life was meant to be. You should have grown up loved and happy. I love you my deadly little rose and I hope I can see you soon._

 _All my love your Father.'_

The letter made my heart stop and start all over again. I looked back to Harry but he left at some point while I was reading. For the rest of the train ride I was lost in thought.

* * *

The summer months sped by as the normal day to day life at the Orphanage set in. Paramore's base form of a dog was getting bigger and it was getting harder to earn enough food to feed him. Then close to the end of summer a white owl that I knew to belong to Harry Potter; showed up on my window sill, in it's talons was two letters. The first from Harry himself inviting me to the Quidditch world cup with him, the Weasleys, and Hermione.

The other letter was from Sirius. My hands trembled as I open the envelope.

 _'Dear Pup,_

 _I haven't heard from you so I don't know if you even want to talk to me or just don't have an owl to get in touch with me. I hope you don't hate me. Just incase it was that you don't have an owl I sent this letter to Harry to send to you. I miss you very much my darling and hope to see you soon._

 _All my love your Father. '_

I didn't know what to do. I didn't like Quidditch but the less time I spent at the Orphanage the better. Then again I didn't know the Weasleys, Hermione, or Harry at all. I looked at Paramore in his kitten form and he gave me a stare with his dark brown eyes. I found myself replying to both letters.

 _'Dear Harry Potter,_

 _I do not like Quidditch but I thank you for inviting me all the same. Also there is no reason to say sorry I hold no hard feelings for you and yours. I'm more the use to being a nobody. And please do not feel the need to include me in your past times just because Mister Black may or may not be my father._

 _Belladonna Rose Black_

 _PS, Don't give Paramore owl treats he will not take kindly to it if you do. Should you feel the need to feed him, a dog biscuits is more his sort or something else along those lines.'_

My next letter took me longer to write. I started over a dozen time before finally finishing it.

 _'Dear Mister Black,_

 _I am sorry I did not know you wanted a reply and wouldn't have known what to say. You say you are my father but other then the same last name I see no reason to think you have any part in my family tree. I do not understand what you want from me in truth. Did you want some long awaited daughter or some dutiful child waiting for their daddy to come save them. If so then dear sir I am sorry to say but you are looking at the wrong person. I have learned that the price for a family may just be too great for me to want to pay. Nothing in life is free. That is the one true rule I have known all my life, so answer me this. What is the price for you and why should I pay it?_

 _Belladonna Rose Black_

 _PS, Don't give Paramore owl treats he will not take kindly to it if you do. Should you feel the need to feed him, a dog biscuits is more his sort or something else along those lines.'_

I sent Paramore and the white owl off with the letters. Before turning back to my work. It was three days later that a reply came from Sirius.

 _'My Dearest Belladonna,_

 _I am sorry you feel that way, but I can honestly say that no price is to high to pay to have you in my life even if only for a moment. I've included with the letter your birth certificate and a picture of you, your mother, and me. Your mother's name is Isabella Dana Stonewall. I know I have a lot of making up to do with you and I will do everything in my power to make you see that sometimes it is more than worth it. I love you and I hope that some day you will believe that I am your father. If I could change it I would have never left you._

 _All my Love your father.'_

As always his letter seem to have a deeper effect on me then I thought they should. I looked at the birth certificate and then the picture. Both items were then placed back in the envelope and later placed with the letter and other letters I had gotten. My small room was starting to become full. Every room in the Orphanage had three items that are the same. A bed, a dresser,and a small wooden chest that you get at the age of five. The quality of each item depended on how much you worked for them.

When your five, the summer before you start school you have to work at a wood carvers and while there you help make a wooden chest. To pay for the chest you have to clean the man's store and house each day. At the end of summer you're presented with the finish product and a brass lock and key. This is where you keep your keepsakes. Because at the age of five they become your responsibility and if there lost or stolen its no ones fault but your own. When you leave the Orphanage you get to take everything in your room with you. Some kids work for bigger rooms. But I decided to stay with my small size room working harder for the things in it and the lock on the door.

My room had two small windows under one sat my bed; so that I could see the sky at night. Under the other was my handmade desk that as with the chest had been made at the wood carvers store.

I was broken out of my musing by the woodsman yelling at me to get back to work.

* * *

During the ride to Hogwarts on September first Harry came to my compartment again this time with his friends following.

"Hi Belladonna. Did you have a good summer?" He asked taking a seat across from me. I stared at him for a minute then look to Ron and Hermione. "It was the same as always" I answered and looked away from the group.

"What happen to your hands" Ron blurted out after a moment of silents. I looked at my hands that were half covered in bandages. Under the bandages the skin was raw and red and some places were bleeding. The blood was starting to seep through the bandages, leaving slight red stains on the white cloth.

I pulled my hands under the cover of my blanket and said "Nothing." Harry reached for my hands but was stopped by Paramore. Who jump down from his place on the storage rack overhead and growled at Harry as he changed shapes from a cat to his base form of a dog. Harry pulled back away from Paramore as Hermione said "You have a shapeshifter those are really rare".

"Enough Paramore." I said which had an immediate effect on him as he once again changed form this time to a fox and jumped on my lap. I then turn to Harry and said "What do you want?"

Harry looked at me for a minute before saying "I just thought we could be friends. You know like we were meant to be. I mean your dad is my godfather that makes us god siblings doesn't it." I felt anger for the first time in a long time as I said "I don't have a father or any family I am nobody why won't you and Mister Black understand that. You both want me to be somebody but I am nobody. So why won't you leave me alone."

"You're not nobody Belladonna you are somebody. If you can't see that then I'll just have to show you. You are Belladonna Black daughter to Sirius Black sister to Harry Potter and that makes you somebody."

I looked at him, I couldn't understand. He thought I was somebody, but everyone at the Orphanage and primary school said I was nobody. Could they have been wrong was I really somebody after all? But still he hadn't wanted anything to do with me until last year. Was he only trying to get to know me because Sirius told him to?

Looking away from him I couldn't help but feel that if it wasn't for last year he probably would never have talk to me. I didn't want any kind of relationship that started with him thinking he had to. No, I would stay away from Harry Potter and his friends


	2. Chapter 2

**Belladonna Rose Black **

**Chapter Two**

 **The Problems of a Mind**

* * *

 **AN: Hello everyone and welcome to chapter two of Belladonna Rose Black. Just incase you didn't notice I have made slight changes to chapter one so if you haven't already please give it a read. I would like to thank everyone for reading this story. I would also like to thank my sister for her help. As this story is beta only by me if you see a mistake please let me know.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own Harry Potter in anyway shape or form.**

 **Warning: This story's rating my change at a later date. There will be mention of of child abuse and a dark theme.**

* * *

When fourth year had first begun I had no way of knowing just what awaited me. But after riding to school with the golden trio I knew that whatever it was, my life would never be the same.

On the second day of school I was making my way to the library. In hopes for a few hours of silent studying, before the school year really started and the library filled. I loved the first week of school. Things were just starting and most students didn't even visit the library until at least the second week. The teachers were more laid back, still happy from their own summer.

A small happy smile spread across my lips. I got to the library and I was happy to find that it was still empty. Classes had already ended for the day and most were still at dinner, so this was the perfect time to be in the library. Humming to myself I made my way to the rarely use table close to Miss Pince's desk. Paramore in the form of a cat, made himself comfortable in one of the spare chairs, as I left my satchel on the table and made my way to the shelves of books.

Two hours later and I was lost in a stack of books on the History of the Black family. There were more people in the library now but my choice in tables kept them all at bay, for fear of the librarian vulture. Or so I had thought.

Paramore's growl was what alerted me to my visitor. Hermione Granger the misplaced Gryffindor. Hermione was well known for being the brains behind the golden trio. Most said the sorting hat got it wrong not placing her in Ravenclaw. The girl's wild brown hair swayed as she seated herself in the chair across from me, dropping her bag on the table with a loud thud.

"Reading anything good" Hermione asked glancing over my stack of books. She didn't wait for my reply as she continued talking."History of the Black Family, you know there some good information about them in the book Dark Wizarding Families Of The Past. If you want I can go get it for you I know right where it is. Or if you rather there Misuse Of Magic a Dark Witch's Tale. It's not as good but it has some great..."

I stopped listening after that as I began packing up my things. I could see Hermione's mouth moving but didn't care to listen to what she was saying. Once my things were away I stood, only then did Hermione's ever moving mouth stop.

"Thank you Miss Granger but I have read both books and while I could agree that they have lots of information about the dark witches and wizards that have been born to the Black Family they lack the overall history of which I seek. Now if you'll please excuse me I find that the dim lighting in here seems to have made my vision a bit cloudy and wish to leave before my eyes are damage to only seeing in black and white. For you see I do so _love_ the colors of the world."

With that I walked away stopping only to place my books on the resort table so that they would be place back where they belonged.

As I made my way back to Ravenclaw tower I couldn't help feeling annoyed at Hermione's dim view of the world. I wondered if she had even understood my insult. Then again the girl was so stubborn and normally only saw things at face value; or maybe that was all Gryffindors. Either way the girl needed to learn not to believe everything was only as it seem. I had learned early that you needed to look for hidden meanings in the lies that are in front of you. Everyone lies. The only trouble is trying to decide what is the truth hidden in those lies.

Loud voices pulled me from my thoughts as I rounded the corner into the Ravenclaw hallway. In front of me was what looked to be a second year Ravenclaw or maybe a small third year surrounded by a group of three seventh year Ravenclaw girls. The small girl had long blonde hair which was in disarray. She seem to be trying to move past the older students.

Without a second thought I turned to Paramore and whispered "Why don't you give the girl a hand." He looked at me and then to the group before changing form into that of a giant anaconda.

Paramore's large snake form slithered across the floor silently as he made is way over to the group. One of the seventh years noticed him and begin frantically tapping the girl beside her on the shoulder. Said girl turn to were the first girl was pointing. Both girls faces were white as sheets. While the third girl who's back was to me noticed her friends faces and turn to look behind her. Seeing Paramore the girl almost fell over in her rush to get away from him.

The three older girls backed away from Paramore. While the younger girl only seemed confused at the sight of a seventeen foot long snake. Paramore wrapped himself around the blonde's feet before turning to face the scared trio. The girls were beginning to reach for their wands, seeing this Paramore raced up and let out a loud hiss, that sent the three girls running.

Strangely enough it only made the little blonde giggle as she turned to face me before saying "Thank you for having your familiar help me. " The girl had a strangeness about her. Her grey blue eyes were wide as if she was surprised, but she seem to feel no fear at the rather large snake at her feet.

"Your welcome." I said moving forward. Paramore changed forms once again this time to a small bunny and hopped around the blonde's feet. The girl giggled and knelt down to pet him. This surprised me, normally Paramore wouldn't turn into a prey animal. It wasn't that he couldn't he just seem to prefer carnivores.

Shrugging off his strange behavior I said "I'm Belladonna Black and that is my shapeshifter familiar Paramore."

"Nice to meet you Paramore; and you as well Belladonna Black. My name is Luna Lovegood." The girl said with as smile her eyes seeming to grow even wider as she stood holding Paramore in her arms.

"Would you like to walk back to the common room with us Miss Lovegood?" I asked not able to help my slight smile.

Luna grinned happily as she said "O yes I would love too Miss Black."

As we made our way to the common room I couldn't help but feel that this was going to be a turning point in my life.

The first two months of the school year past as some of the happiest of my life. Luna and I were surprisingly quick friends. She had a way of looking at the world that I couldn't help admire. Her quick wit was also something to behold, she seem to be the only one to understand my double ended sentences and hidden insults. Even Paramore was taken with the girl. It wasn't strange to see him in rabbit form nestled in her arms as we walk through the halls or sat in the common room.

* * *

Halloween found me in the great hall sitting with Luna as we waited for the goblet of fire to announce the tri-wizard champions. The excitement in the air had me fighting to remain seated, Luna however had no such restraint. I smiled as I watched her bounce in her seat. The friendship between us was something of a mystery to me. I didn't do friends; not ever, but somehow this bright and strangely happy girl had worked her way past any protection I had.

The room grew silent as the goblet shot a burst of flames into the air. When the fire disappeared a piece of paper was left dancing in the air. The headmaster pulled the bit of of parchment from the air; the whole room waited with baited breath for the name to be read. Dumbledore smiled widely as he called "VIKTOR KRUM!"

The room exploded in cheers as the large Durmstrang male made his way out of the room to a side chamber. The noise quickly disappeared as another jet of flames shot from the goblet.

"FLEUR DELACOUR!" Came the headmaster's voice again; and this time a blonde from Beauxbatons stood. She too exited the room; but with even more male's eyes following her movement then Krum had.

For a third time flame shot from the goblet leaving behind yet another piece of parchment. "CEDRIC DIGGORY" Dumbledore called somewhat louder than the first two times. Cheers and talking filled the room as the Hufflepuff exited, with a bounce in his step.

When next the room fell silent however I felt a foreboding feeling. As the name Harry Potter was called no one cheered or smiled. I watched silently as Harry made his way up to the head table. I could see his hesitation and fear in the short steps he took. That was all I needed to know that the boy hero had no part in placing his name in the goblet. This wasn't going to end well, not for Harry or anyone.

* * *

The days following Halloween I spent in the library with Luna. I didn't need to tell her what I was looking for, she somehow already knew. The fact that Harry; for me it was nothing but fact, meant that someone had to do it for him. I couldn't see any of the other students doing it. Not even those I knew to hate him. No they would have not given Harry a way to get more attention even the bad kind. That left only the adults. At the top of my list was Dumbledore, he seem to enjoy testing the boy. If stories of the past three years were to be believed. He also had the power to overcome all the charms and enchantments placed on the goblet.

That wasn't to say that I wasn't looking into others. As it was all the professors were still in the running, simply because they would have the know how to do so. I searched the library for all information I could find on the tournament. I couldn't explain why I felt the need to help the boy. It was if something in my very soul wouldn't let me watch as he struggled and do nothing to help.

The events of the next month left me even more confused then I had been to start with, but it also made Alastor Moody my new suspect.

D.A.D.A. was a class I didn't like all because of the professors. First year we had the stuttering Quirinus Quirrell who couldn't make it through class without shivering and looking like he would pass out. Second year there was the pretty boy Gilderoy Lockhart who was so in love with himself that he spent all class period either talking about himself or staring at one of his hundreds of portraits. Then of course there was third year with Remus Lupin the werewolf, while the man was a halfway decent teacher he never talked to me and when he had the misfortune to look at me his eyes always turn to ice.

No I did not like D.A.D.A. at all and this year was off to a very rocky start. The Professor Alastor Moody decided to teach all about the unforgivable curses. Worse yet to practice the Imperius Curse on us.

I watched as one by one my classmates made fools of themselves acting like monkeys and dancing until it was my turn.

"Come along Miss Black" Professor Moody said as I made my way slowly to the front of the room. I looked back at Paramore, who I had left sitting on my desk in the form of a fox. His dark eyes gleamed at me and I knew that if anything happened he'd have my back. But still my stomach turned, this wasn't going to turn out well.

The last thing I heard was Moody whisper the curse "Imperio" then I was lost.

At first I was floating in a white mist. Just floating and it felt nice like I was weightless . Then I felt a strange pressure and a sharp pain in the back of my mind as part of the mist turned black. Old memories that had been dragged from the deep recesses of my mind the year before by the Dementors began playing out in the mist. It was like I was watching the scenes through dense fog. Then one memory stood out from the rest.

There was a woman standing over a crib holding a baby version of me. She had long curly golden hair and warm blue eyes. She was staring down at me with a smile as my baby self reached her arms out to be held. But as she was about to pick me up the warmth left her eyes and she turned away from me. She seem to be talking to someone who I couldn't see and then like a puppet whose strings had been cut she fell. Then a new woman with curly black hair appeared. Her black eyes were cold, as she pick the baby version of me up and pulled out a long needle which she used to prick me. With blood on the needle it change shape to a quill and started writing on a piece of parchment that appeared out of nowhere floating in midair.

 _Name: Belladonna Rose Black_

 _Father: Sirius Orion Black_

 _Mother: Isabella Dana Stonewall_

 _Blood Status: Pure_

 _Age: 1 year 2 months 16 days_

 _Birthday_ _: August/15/1980_

 _Eye color: Blue_

 _Hair color: Black_

 _Godfather: James Potter_

 _Godmother: Lily Potter_

 _Godbrother: Harry Potter_

 _Gifts: Metamorphmagus_

 _Spells: Location Spell, Protection spell, Child lock spell, Gift lock spell._

With one last stroke the quill fell useless to the floor as the woman turned baby me to face her and said "so you are my dear cousin Sirius's kid then, and a pureblood at that. What to do with you?" The baby version of me looked into the woman's eyes and said " 'ere mummy go."

The memory ended there as the fog faded into nothing and the classroom reappeared. My eyes focused only for a moment as Professor Moody voices said "very good you see that Miss Black didn't even react to the curse at all, now that is something. Very well done."

"Miss Black you sit can down now." Moody said. I turn to look at him as my eyes unfocused and instead of him I saw the woman from my memory. Then as if someone was controlling me I said " 'ere mummy go." As the words left my mouth I felt myself falling.

It was a few days later that I woke up once again in the hospital wing. Harry was sitting on my right side . To my left; with Paramore in bunny form laying on her lap sat Luna. I couldn't help smiling at the sight as I sat up.

"Belladonna are you okay?" asked Harry, his voice was strained and I could see the tiredness in his eyes. The last month had not been kind to him.

"I am fine thank you Mister Potter." I answered as Paramore jumped into my arms. Harry stared at me his eyes twitching a bit before he sighed and nodded. I felt kinda bad for the defeated look on his face. But with what I had learned from Moody I knew this year was shaping up to be the worst yet.

Anger burned in my belly at the thought of the man. He had used Legilimency on me. I had research the topic last year while trying to learn Occlumency in hopes of stopping the effects of the Dementors.

Harry and Luna left not long after I woke up leaving me to the mercy of Madam Pomfrey. Once the witch was happy I was healthy, I was released with a warning to take it easy for the next two days. Which meant no classes for me.

That fact made me very happy. It meant I would have two days, plus the the weekend before I had to face Moody again. It was time to make a plan. Last year after learning that Occlumency did nothing to stop Dementors, I had stopped actively trying to learn it. But as it was I now felt more than anything the need for it's protection.

Later that night after most people had gone to bed I sent Paramore off with a message. Sirius Black was while not that well known to me. Still seem to be my best bet when it came to getting books on Occlumency without the Headmaster or anyone else finding out. The letter I sent didn't hold all that much information , just incase he proved to be sharing the information.

 _'Dear Mister Black._

 _I would like to start by thanking you once again for the beautiful music box you sent me for my birthday earlyer in the year. I would also like to ask you a favor and I understand if you are not able to do it. Please do not do anything that would put you in danger of getting your soul removed from your body. I do mean that, I would very much dislike it if you were hurt in anyway because of me. But if you are in anyway able I would like to ask you for help. You see I fear someone; who I shall not say incase they intercept this letter, is invading my mind. While I have found a book in the library on the subject of Occlumency in the past. I do not wish to alert anyone that I think my thoughts are in danger by checking them out. So if there is anyway you can send me books on the subject matter I would be most grateful. I also asked that you keep this information to yourself so that the suspected party does not learn of this._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Belladonna Rose Black.'_

I waited up most of the night for Paramore to get back from his journey. When he finely did return he was carrying with him two books. One a copy of the book that had been in the library as well as a handwritten, leather bound book. Attach to the leather book was a short note.

 _'Belladonna, I am grateful that you feel comfortable with asking me for help. The second book I sent is a journal. I wrote it when I was around your age. It holds information that I hope will help you. Also, did you know that once someone becomes an animagus that their mind becomes a dangerous place for others?_

 _Love your, Father.'_

As the message sank in I couldn't help but smile. My final thought as I drifted off to bed with the leather journal in my arms were happy. I felt comfort in the knowledge that soon I would be able to protect my mind.

* * *

 **AN:Before you leave I would like to say that I couldn't remember when in the books Moody practices the Imperius Curse on the student's, so if it is out of order please forgive me. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Belladonna Rose Black**

 **Chapter Three**

 **Dragons and Misadventure**

* * *

 **AN: Hello my dear reader and welcome! It has taken me longer then I had hoped to finish this chapter but at long last here it is.**

 **DISCLAIMER** **: As always I must tell you that I don't own Harry Potter in anyway shape or form.**

 **WARNING: Now I'm sure you've read this before but just incase, I will warn you again. The rating of this story may change at a later date. This story will have mention of child abuse and it does have a dark theme. I would also like to add that while I shall try my hardest to stick as close to canon as I can this is still a fanfic so characters will be slightly OOC. Not to mention that story is in an OC point of view and she doesn't look at the world the same way Harry does. This story is self beta so if you see any mistakes please let me know.**

 **Thank you all for read if you have and do enjoy. :)**

* * *

As the day of the first tasked drew closer, I watched as Harry struggled. He had been spending more time in the library, than I had ever seen him in the past. He also seem to be fighting with Ron, as the boy who normally followed Harry everywhere; like a puppy looking for a treat, was missing. With all the stares following him and Hermione looming over his shoulder, it was proving hard to get him alone, so that I might speak with him.

After almost a week of no luck, I decided to have him come to me instead. Around midnight I sent Paramore off in the form of a mouse, carrying with him a short note.

 _'Meet me in the empty classroom on the fourth floor. Come alone. B.R.B.'_

It had been thirty minutes and still there was no sign of him. Just as I was about to give up waiting, the door opened. I pulled out my wand just incase it wasn't Harry. Hidden as I was behind some desks it was unlikely whoever open the door could see me. I peaked over the top desks as the door closed, but I saw no one.

Then out of nowhere Harry appeared, in his hands was what looked to be a cloak. He had an invisibility cloak, that explain so many things.

I moved out from my hiding place putting my wand away. Harry stared at me for a minute before digging something out of his pocket. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me" Harry said holding his hand out to me. In his hand was Paramore still in mouse form.

Taking Paramore I said "With all the trouble that follows you around. If I was as smart as my grades say I am, I wouldn't come within ten yards of you."

Harry looked at his feet for a moment before moving to sit on one of the desks. "So, then why am I here?"

Sighing I turned away from him as I put Paramore into my own pocket before saying. "Because as much as I tried denying it in the beginning, you are family and you're in trouble. And while I don't know what it's like to have a family, I do know that when your family is in danger your suppose to help them."

I looked back at Harry, he was staring out the window lost in thought. When he did finally speak his voice was almost a whisper.

"Thanks."

I nodded before moving closer holding a handmade book out to him. "What's this?" he asked taking it.

"Help" I answered as I watched him flip through the book for a moment before adding. "That is everything I could find out about the tournament and what you might face. I've included spells and things I thought would be helpful for each of the outcomes, I felt were most likely to happen. I also added all the tournament rules I thought you might have trouble following. As well as some other information I thought you should know."

Harry looked away from the book and back to me smiling as he said "Wow! Belladonna, I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I do mean anything, not to anyone. You and your friends may be fine with having targets painted on your chests but I would very much dislike it." I said staring him in the eyes.

"I can understand that, I won't tell anyone."

"Not even Miss Granger or Mister Weasley?" I questioned.

Harry shook his head as he said "Not even them."

I nodded before turning to leave.

"Belladonna wait." called Harry as I reached for the door.

I stopped and turned to face him with a questioning look. He seemed to be nervous as he stepped closer to me. Then without warning he was hugging me. I froze. I mind began spinning out of control and I could feel a slight pain starting all over my body, as my emotions ran a muck.

Before the pain had a chance to make me pass out Harry release me. He was looking at his feet as he muttered something I couldn't hear. I watched him, to confused to remember that I was about to leave a minute ago.

When Harry finally looked up his face was tinted red. I stared at him trying to figure out what to do next. When Paramore poked his head out of my pocket. Still in mouse form Paramore, jumped from my pocket while changing into a cat mid-air. When he landed he walk to Harry and he started purring and rubbing himself against his legs.

Harry stared at my familiar for a moment before reaching down and picking him up. Paramore stared at me as Harry petted him. We stood like that no one saying anything. Until finely without a word Harry, handed me Paramore and then grabbed his cloak from where he had left it on the desk.

He gave me a smile before putting the cloak on and leaving. Once the door closed I found I could no longer hold myself up. I ended up leaning against the door for support.

Why? Why did he have to hug me? Everything had been going so well. Now I couldn't even think straight. My legs began to buckle causing me to slide down the door until i was sitting against it with my knees to my chest. Paramore had jumped from my arms once it became apparent I could no longer hold myself up under my own strength.

I wasn't sure how long I ended up staying like that, huddled against the door. But by the time I stood again my legs were cramped and I was to tired to care about getting caught out after curfew.

A week passed and it was time for the first task. I sat high in the stands as one by one the contestants faced a dragon. Dragons! They had not been on my list. I watched with suppressed horror as Harry's turn came. The idiot decided to try an out fly a dragon.

I was contemplating just killing the boy myself and being done with it. When he raced past, he was flying low with his arm outstretched to grab the golden egg. Not far behind him was the enraged dragon mother. Then just like that it was over. Harry had retrieved the egg and the dragon was being recaptured by the tamers.

I took a deep breath and sank back in my seat. I was right, I decided. Family would definitely get me killed one day.

* * *

The days following the death-defying race with a dragon, seem to only bring more trouble for me. This time however the trouble came wearing green trimmed robes instead of red ones.

I had been passing time in the library when Draco Malfoy, of all people sat down in front of me. I looked over the top of my book at him. He was alone for once, the two stooges that followed him were nowhere to be seen. I waited. I had no desire to try to guess at what had possessed the blonde to seek me out.

I knew very well who the blonde was. Since my letter to Sirius earlier in the year, the man had become a vast well of information. He would send me letters twice a week telling me all about his childhood and growing up in the Black family. He also sent information on every living Black family member he knew about. While most of his information was thirteen years out of date, it was still enough to tell me who this boy was.

As the minutes past I stared at the page of my book, not really reading it. Finally the boy spoke, "So I don't really want to be here but as it is my mother asked me to speak to you."

I didn't look at him as I said " What does she want?"

"Why do you thing she wants something?"

I rolled my eyes at the stupid questioned as I put my book away to look at the Slytherin. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to say anything more I answered "I'm not stupid, I know who you are and who your mother is. And the only reason she would have to speak to me, through you is if she wanted something. More so if she wants something and didn't want anyone finding out just what she wanted. So what can I do for you and your mother, Mister Malfoy."

Draco looked away from me as he said "I don't know what she wants. She just told me to talk to you. Too as she put it, make friends with family."

'So she wants something that only I, as the heir to the Black family can give her.' I thought to myself as I sat back in my chair to think. I had spent hours looking over wizarding laws. I knew that when I turn sixteen, everything that belong to the Black family would be mine as the last direct descendant.

But from what I read the Black family holdings were large, there would be to much to guess at what she could want. I also understood that the Malfoy family was very powerful and well connected. Meaning Mrs. Malfoy could and most likely would cause unneeded trouble for me if I didn't at least appeared to be cooperating.

"Very well Mister Malfoy let us become friends then shall we. After all one can never have too many friends now can they." I said leaning forward holding my head in my hands, with my elbows on the desk acting a support beams as I stared at him.

The two of us spent the rest of the afternoon talking about various things. During our talks I made sure to watch what I said. After all there was no reason to give him to much information that he might be able to use against me. Draco turned out to be more then willing to share information about himself however. He was even nice enough to give information about many of the other Slytherins.

Later that night I sent another letter to Sirius. After all if I was going to play with snakes I needed more information, lest I become poisoned.

 _'Dear Sirius,_

 _I have found myself a slight snake problem. Nothing I can't handle but I wouldn't say no to any information you had on Mrs. Malfoy . As always please don't put yourself in any unneeded danger. I would after all be very cross if you did._

 _Now, how are you managing? I know in your last letter you said you found someplace to stay. But one can never be too careful._

 _I myself am doing well in my studies. I did so enjoy the books you sent me. They have proven to be most useful._

 _I have as you asked kept an eye on the dragon baiter. He seems to have made up with Mister Weasley, as the boy has taken to following him again. I have not had a chance to talk to him since before his deadly race. Though I suppose that is a good thing, at least for him. I never thought trying to keep someone alive could be so aggravating. Overall these last two week have proven to be most strange._

 _Once again thank you for all your help and do be careful._

 _Belladonna Black'_

Once Paramore had left I began my nightly meditation, to strengthen my mind as part of my Occlumency practice.

* * *

I sat alone on the train as we pulled away from the school. The winter break had come at last. I was more worried than I thought I should about leaving during the break. I wouldn't be going back to the orphanage. No I had my own plans for the holiday and with any luck no one would ever know.

Pulling into Kings Cross Station hours later, I pulled my rucksack over my shoulder as I made my way off the train. My first order of business was going to Gringotts. With that in mind I pulled my wand and called for the knight bus. I had never been on the thing, but I had read about it. Honestly I felt more than a little nervous as I stepped on to the purple bus.

"Where to Miss?" asked the conductor as I boarded.

I turned to the voice as I said "Leaky Cauldron, Please."

After paying I made my way to one of the many beds. It seems my ploy was working. I figured if I held myself with all the confidence that the heir of the Black family should have, then no one would dare question me. I had spent a lot of time watching the Slytherin, I watched how they moved and held themselves. Doing so I learned that if you act like you owned the place, people were less likely to mess with you.

It didn't take long for us to reach the Leaky Cauldron but even so my stomach was in knots. That had been the most unpleasant way to travel I have ever had the misfortune to use. Even so I stood and made my way as steadily as I could off the bus.

My trip to Diagon Alley was a quick one. After a stop at the bank to withdraw some money and have most of it changed into pounds I left again, this time on foot. As I walked through the darkening streets of London I thought. Wondering if what I was doing was as good an idea as it had first sounded.

I fought with myself as I made my way to a small park a few blocks from where I had started. Once there I took a seat on one of the swings before reaching into my pocket. I pulled Paramore from the warm nest he had made. I petted him as I whispered, "Now just like we planned."

Paramore's mouse form gave a nod as I took one more look around. There was a small group of older teens hanging out around a picnic table, but other then that the park was deserted. I gently placed Paramore on the ground before sitting back up. Paramore's little brown form was quickly lost in the grass as he took off. I pulled my coat tighter to me as a chilled wind blew through the park.

I hoped I didn't have to wait long. I began swinging slightly as I stared up at the sky. My mind raced, turning over many different thoughts, many questions I had yet to find the answers to. Later I would curse myself for getting so lost in thought. Because as I drifted off into my thoughts, the small group still hanging out off to one side of the park took notice of me.

It wasn't until I was more or less surrounded that I noticed how much trouble I was in. I stop swinging in stood from my seat as the oldest amongst the group; a man of about twenty five, moved closer to me.

"What's a pretty little thing like you doing out on a night like this?" the man asked his voice sending shivers down my spine.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I said "Somehow I think you truly do not care. So why don't you and your little band of miscreants run off. Because I can guarantee that you won't like what will happen to you if you don't." I was a little surprised that I didn't stutter any of it, in truth it sounded a lot braver than I felt.

The man chuckled darkly as he reached his hand out for my face. The feeling of his heated hand on my face made my skin crawl. My mind froze as he stepped even closer to me, blowing a breath of foul scented air into my face as he spoke. "My aren't you a brave little thing, but you see there's nothing you can do to me. See I got my friends here and what have you got?"

"She has me?" Called a voice somewhere behind the man in front of me. The man released me and turned around. Looking around him I could just make out Sirius standing there. Paramore was standing next to him in his base form; which had only grown over the years and now stood at almost three feet shoulder to paw.

"Oh yeah, does this little one belong to you then. Well you can have her back, once I'm done with her that is."

The man then turned back to me, not willing to just bow to this man I did the thing most girls would do. With as much force as I could muster I slammed my knee into his crotch. I didn't stop to think as the man fell to the ground, instead I ran. I didn't remember everything that happen next only the feeling of Sirius's arms around me. The last think I could clearly remember before passing out; from a mix of shock and the emotionally fueled pain that had been building since the start of the confrontation, was the sound of screams.

When I woke next there was the distinctive smell of dust in the air. Opening my eyes I found myself in a dimly lit room. What I believed to be a vanity sat with a sheet still covering it, on the far wall in front of the twin bed I was laying on. On the wall to my left was a window framed by moth eaten curtains, while the walls were covered in faded flower wallpaper. To my right was a door that show definite signs of age.

I pushed back the flowered comforter with a bit of disdain as I stood from the bed. I found my bag on a dusty chest at the end of the bed and my shoes under the right bed side stand. I replaced my shoes, leaving the bag where it was I made my way out of the room. I found that the hall way was just as dusty and dim as the room had been.

I was distracted from my thoughts about the décor at the sound of Sirius's voice. "Stay still dammit." Fallowed by the sound of water splashing.

I made my way in the direction of the noise. What I found I would remember with a smile and a laugh for the rest of my days. Sirius it seems had decided to bath Paramore, while Paramore decided he didn't like that idea. Looking over the bathroom I could tell there was more water on the walls then there was in the tub. Sirius himself was covered from head to toe in water and soap. While Paramore, still in dog form; was a mess of matted fur and soap.

It was just Sirius's luck it seem that just as he was reaching to turn the water on, Paramore noticed me. Jumping from the tub my familiar ran barking to my side while Sirius landed on his back in a puddle of water.

I couldn't help the laughter that escaped me.

"Are you okay?" I asked when I noticed Sirius had yet to move.

"Other than my pride I'm fine." Sirius grumbled as he stood sending a glare at Paramore.

I laughed again at the state of him. His dark hair was dripping in soap. While his clothing clung to him. Over all he looked like he decided to take a bath fully dressed.

"Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll finish in here." I said still laughing slightly.

With a nod Sirius left the bathroom, his shoes squeaking with each step.


	4. Chapter 4

**Belladonna Rose Black**

 **Chapter Four**

 **Christmas Presents**

* * *

 **AN: Hello dear reader here is the latest chapter for you all to enjoy.**

 **Warning: The rating for this story may change at a later date. This story will have mention of child abuse and a dark theme. Also there is a reason it called Fanfiction, so please note that the story may not fall canon and that the character may be a little OOC. This story is self beta so if there is any mistakes please fill free to point them out to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter in anyway shape or form**

* * *

Once I was finished washing Paramore and cleaning the bathroom, I went looking for Sirius. Most of the doors I came across were locked, but I did find myself in the Library. The room like the rest of the house so far, was covered in a thick layer of dust. Many of the books were in piles on the floor and on tables all around the room. My fingers itched at the state of the room and if I had been anyone else I might have weeped for the state of the books. The poor things looked like no one had read them in a vary along time.

I had to stop myself from stroking the spines of the books as I made my way through the room. If it wasn't for the pressing need to know what had happened after I had passed out, I would have already lost myself in the many books before me. But as it was, the need to know what had happen was stronger, than my desire to lose myself in all the knowledge hidden within the many books before me.

I managed to make it back out of the library without touching a single book. Which for me was a feat within itself. I loved books, they had been the thing I always knew I could rely on as a child. It was in books that I had found my escape from the orphanage. And to see so many of them that had been neglected for who knows how long, sadden me. Even still I continued my search for Sirius. As I walked away from the library I made a silent promise to myself that once I found out what happen I would be back. And before the winter break passed I would set right the library. Nodding to myself I moved on.

I ended up finding Sirius in what I guessed was the sitting room. Unlike the rest of the house you could tell someone had cleaned this room with in the last few days. The room was rather large with a fireplace taking up most of one wall. Sirius was sitting on a faded leather couch, in front of the fireplace with his back to me. Along the left wall was a line of shelves that held yet more books, as well as various trinkets. While on the right wall was a large cabinet, with glass doors on the top and solid wood doors at the bottom. Separating the two sets of doors was a small shelve on which sat an assortment of glass bottles, most filled with what I guessed was alcohol, and glass cups.

Before I could ponder the room's decor anymore, Sirius took notice of me. He stood from his seat, a glass half filled with amber colored liquid in his hand. I was unsure what I should do, I felt out of place just standing there, like a mouse in a group a of cats. Part of me felt like running, while the rest just wanted to stand there until something happened. I took a deep breath to calm myself, before moving forward and taking a seat in the matching chair next to the couch.

Sirius reclaimed his seat as I took mine, I notice that Sirius seem to be just as uncertain about this as I was, so I decided it was best just to get this over with.

"What happened after I lost consciousness?" I questioned as I petted Paramore, who had taken the form of a fox and was sitting on my lap.

"Your familiar decided that those boys needed to be taught a lesson; not that I disagree but the way he went about it, well let's just say some of them might find it hard to walk for the next little while. Anyways after I finally managed to call him off, I carried you here. You slept the whole night and while you slept your familiar kept watch. Until I convinced him to let me wash the blood off him. Then halfway through the bath, he seemed to think I needed one too."

I had to fight myself not to smirk at the reminder of a dripping wet Sirius.

"So, where are we?"

"Someplace I hoped to never return. The Black family manor, Grims Place. This was once the pride of the Black family." Sirius grumbled as he drank down what was left in his glass.

I stared at the men as he in turn glared at the fireplace. I wondered what he was seeing, as his eyes glazed slightly. What nightmares were playing a crossed his mind, what old memories refused to lay still. I watched his face as it shifted through many different emotions, until a single tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek, coming to a stop as it dripped on the hardwood floor.

"Sirius?" I questioned, but he didn't seem to hear me. I called his name again but, still he was lost. Lost in the darkness that was his past. Emotions that confused me began to make themselves known in the pit of my stomach.

I swallowed before calling his name again, still he didn't move. After almost ten minutes of calling his name, I decided to try something new. I stood from my place and moved to sit next to him. My hand shook slightly as I hesitantly placed it on his shoulder, his skin was chilled despite the fire in front of us. Still he showed no sign of noticing me, I called his name again, but there was no reaction.

I could feel Sirius's body shaking slightly, or maybe it was the shaking of my own causing his to shake, I couldn't tell. Fear began to seep into me as I wondered what to do.

I open my mouth to say his name again, but instead something new came out, something I had no memory of having ever said before. My voice was little more then a whisper as the unfamiliar word fell from my lips. I hadn't meant to say it, I never thought I would say it. It was as if some unknown force drew the word from me.

Sirius to seem shocked at the word, for he finally broke free of whatever was holding him in the past. He turn to face me, surprise clear to read on his face. I removed my hand from his shoulder and placed it with it's twin on my lap.

"W-what did you say?" Sirius said his voice soft, filled with an emotion I couldn't place.

I looked at my hands, as I felt my cheeks heat and said nothing. Sirius however, didn't seems to want to let go of what I had said. He grabbed my hands with one of his, while his other hand grabbed my chin and gently tilted my face back to look at him.

His eyes were filled with moisture as he begged, "Please say it again?"

I wanted to deny him, but as I stared into his grey-blue eyes I found I couldn't.

"Daddy."

Sirius smiled wider then I had ever seen anyone smile before, his eyes seemed to be shining as he pulled me into his arms.

I couldn't move as his arms closed around me, holding me to his chest. He was hugging me, and I didn't know what to do. An all to familiar pain began building with in me, as tears formed in my eyes. My mind raced and my emotion spun out of control like a tornado in the middle of a hurricane. Then darkness.

The days sense that night passed quickly, neither Sirius nor I spoke about what I said. I could tell he wanted to, but he also seemed to understand that I didn't. Even so he had started to hug me at random times, never long enough for me to pass out, but often enough that every time I walked into a room it seemed like he was there just waiting to hug me.

Over all even with the hugging, the time I spent with Sirius was a time I would look back on and long for. The man always seem to be smiling, more then willing to do anything I wanted just to spent time with me. We had spent two full days cleaning up the library, and even though I could tell he would rather be doing almost anything else, he stayed there and helped me every step of the way.

It was during this time that I meant the other inhabitant of Grims Place, Kreacher. The old elf was something to behold, and on many occasion I had to stop both Sirius and Paramore from attacking the small thing. Not that the elf seemed to care much, but I did manage to talk him into helping us clean. Really all I had to do was talk about how ashamed his mistress must be at the state of the house, making him think that was why she stayed hidden behind her curtain.

In truth I hadden seen the portrait as of yet, Sirius seem determined to keep the curtain closed at all times. So much so, that he had asked that I stay out of the main hallway as much as possible. I didn't really understand his reasons for wanting this, but even so I did as he asked. Once the three of us finished cleaning the library we moved on to the other main areas of the house.

I was so focused on cleaning that I didn't really notice the days passing and before I knew it, it was the morning of Christmas eve and Sirius was pulling decorations out of the attic. I could only watch in stund wonder as the man turn the sitting room into a winter wonder land, the only thing missing was a tree. In truth I didn't care one way or another about the holiday, but seeing someone so happy about it made me think.

I knew that Luna loved the holidays, she had even left school two days early by way of floo in Hogsmeade, to go on vacation with her father. Sirius to seem to love the holiday. Thinking about it made me wonder what I should do.

Should I get them gifts? What if they got me presents and I got them nothing? Would they be upset? If I did get them something what should it be?

Those and many other questions filled my head. As I watched Sirius smile as he danced around the room singing holiday songs while placing even more decorations around the room. Deep in thought I made my way to what had become my room.

It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that even if the Holidays were meaningless to me, they still meant a great deal to the others. With that in mind I began dressing in my winter muggle clothing before making my way out of the house.

"Sirius." I called stopping at the sitting room on my way out of the house.

"Hey." he said stopping in his dancing, at seeing what I was dressed in he frowned before asking "Where are you going?"

"Shopping, do you want anything while I'm out."

I could tell by the way his frown deepened that he didn't like the idea, but we both knew there was no way he could stop me either.

"Um...Hot Coco!"

I nodded before turning to leave.

"Belladonna, please be careful out there. " Sirius called after me.

I turn back to him with a slight smile as I said, "Don't worry I will."

He nodded still frowning. Checking on Paramore, who was in my jacket pocket in the form of a mouse, I left the warmth of the house for the biting cold of the December weather. It was almost noon, but with any luck I would find something for each of the people I decided to buy for.

Two hours later I found myself in a small toy store, at first I wasn't going to enter, but as I was walking past the door open spilling laughter, warmth, and the sweet scent of chocolate into my face. I entered the store without a second thought.

I walked the aisles of the store, staring at all the many toys before me. I had no idea what I was looking for, but still I looked. Then I saw it, the perfect gift for Luna, it looked kind of like a bunny, but the size of a cat with soft light blue fur, on it's back was a pair of tiny wings. The dark purple color of the wings were what had caught my attention at first. Taking the small stuffed animal into my arms I couldn't help but smile, suddenly the animal gave off a soft purring sound something like a cat. I was so surprised by this, that I almost drop the thing.

Then an idea came to mind, something that would make the strange little stuff toy so much more important. Turning to pay for Luna's gift, I spotted something else. A pair of plastic dragons, one was red with green eyes while the other was silver with light blue eyes. I grab these toys too. After paying I left to finish my shopping, there were a few things I needed to carry out my plans.

I didn't make it back to Grims Place until a quarter till five, opening the door I found Sirius waiting just inside the door.

"Are you okay? You were gone longer than I thought you would be?"

"I'm fine thank you." I answered as I slip my boots off before grabbing one of the smaller bag amongst my many bags, before holding it out to Sirius.

"What's this?"

I looked at him before rolling my eyes and saying, "The coco you asked for."

"O right Coco, Thanks. So, what all did you get?"

I pull the bags closer to me as I made my way to my room.

"Just some stuff."

"Oh. Hey, do you want some hot coco?"

I stopped just outside my door and turn to face him. His eye were full of hope, but I need to get start on the the gifts or they would be ready before tomorrow.

"Sorry, I think I'm gonna just take a hot bath and get an early night." I felt bad as the light in Sirius's eyes dimmed, but I promise silently to myself to make up for it tomorrow.

"Oh, okay I understand. Have a goodnight." Sirius said his voice soft and full of sadness.

"Goodnight Sirius." I said before push my door open and shut quickly behind myself. That was harder than it should have been, but I hoped my plans for tomorrow would make up for it.

I leaned against the door for a moment until I heard Sirius walking way. With a sigh and looked around the room, it looked nothing like it had the first time I found myself in it. The room had been clean and was now free of all the dirt and dust that once called this places home. Sirius had helped me remove the flower wallpaper and paint the walls a dark blue color. If it wasn't for the old family wands that Sirius and I used to get the work done, we would most likely still be cleaning the library.

Were once the vanity had sat, now was a large wooden desk, on the floor next to it laid a rather large dog bed. The flower bed spread had been replaced with a large quilt made up of different shades of blue and silver patches. Over all the room was still mostly empty, but at least I no longer shivered at the decor.

I made my way to my desk and placed all my bags on top of it I couldn't help staring at the pictures Sirius had pin to the wall above it. There were pictures of Sirius, my mother, and me as a baby. There was even one of me and a baby Harry being held by a little girl who's hair kept changing color.

When I asked him about them as he put them there he had said, "I want you to see all the people who loved you, and if you let them I bet they'll love you again."

His words made my heart hurt, I didn't know what to do, but hopeful this Christmas would be a start.

After a quick shower to warm myself up I set to work. As I worked I was so glad I had decided to take ancient runes at school, it was perhaps my favorite class and without it I would never be able to do what I wanted with the presents. I started with Luna's gift first, as carefully as I could I cut the the little bunny open at its seam, removing the muggle electronics that made it purr and it's little beaded black eyes.

I replaced the eyes with small rainbow colored gemstones with runes carved into them. Then I replaced the sound maker after adding runes that would let it work on magic, next I hid a small ruin fill disc. The last thing I did was make a necklace with a matching gem that was magically tied to the stuffed animal.

Then I moved on to the dragons, replacing their eyes with small chips of emeralds and sapphires covered in runes, while writing even more runes onto their insides. While leather wrist bands with matching gems replaced the necklace.

It was close to midnight by the time I finally finish putting the toys back together. All that was left was to package them. I had bought gift bags for each of the people I had bought for. Into Luna's bag went the modified stuffed toy along with a jewelry box holding her necklace, I also added two books of muggle fairy tales I thought she would in joy.

Harry's bag held the red dragon and it's matching wrist band, as well as a rather large book on customs of the wizarding world. It held information on many different things including wizarding fairy tales, and other such things that wizarding children would learn growing up.

While Draco's bag held the other dragon and wrist band, but also included two books on muggle history, one having to do with the scientific advances they had made over the last hundred years and the other muggle customs from around the world.

The last bag was for Sirius, his had taken me the longest to make. I had used magic to carve eight wooden figures, each stood almost a foot high and two much smaller ones that were only a few inchs high. Three of them were animals; a wolf, dog, and stag; while the other seven were humen. There was one of my mother, Lily Potter, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and a baby version of me and Harry; while the final one was of Sirius himself.

I had carved runes into each figure to protect them, before adding charms; one to make them move, another so that they would interact with each other. These and more were added to the tiny figures. I also made a small wooden box into which all of the figures fit neatly.

The last thing I did for the night was to write letters for Luna, Harry, and Draco.

'Happy Christmas, Luna.

I hope this letter finds you well. Are you enjoying your vacation with your father? Please tell him Happy Christmas for me. The bag with this letter holds your gifts from me. So, please open that before reading the rest of this letter.

I hope you like what I sent you, if you push a small amount of magic into both the necklace and the bunny; you will see what makes them truly wonderful. To stop the bunny all you have to do is tell it to stop while wearing the necklace. The bunny will only ever answer to you, it will do whatever you tell it as long as you're wearing the necklace, no matter how far you get from it. This way if it goes missing all you have to do is call it to you and it will come.

The books are muggle children stories and I hope you enjoy them.

I wish you a very Happy Christmas.

Belladonna.'

'Dear Harry,

I hope your Holiday is going well and that you are keeping yourself out of trouble. I have no wish to find out that you put yourself into needless danger over the Holiday break.

You will find your Christmas gift from me in the bag that came with this letter so, please open that first before reading the rest of the letter.

Sense you seem to like dragon so much here is one that won't try to eat you. If you push a small amount of magic into both the dragon and the wrist band then they will be bonded to you. Whatever you tell the dragon to do while wearing the wristband it will do, no matter how far from it you are. But be careful for it will only ever answer to you.

The book is mostly a muggle guide to the ins and outs of the wizarding world, it holds information that you will need if you want to continue living within the magical world after you finish Hogwarts. It also holds lots of information the children in the wizarding world learn before Hogwarts. So most of our classmates already know the information. The book should help you understand some of the strange things that the purebloods do. But remember no matter what Hermione says, somethings you can't learn from books.

I wish you a Happy Christmas.

Belladonna.'

'Dear Draco Malfoy,

Hello cousin, I hope your Holiday is going well. Please pass my greetings onto your mother and father.

Inside the bag you will find your Christmas gifts from me, so it might be best of you look before finishing this letter; least you ruin the surprise.

If you push a small amount of magic into both the wristband and dragon you will find them bonded to you and that the dragon follows your ever command, regardless of distance. The books hold information on the muggle's world, that while your father would hate for you to have, you however might find useful. The world is changing and you must armor yourself with everything you can if you are to survive it.

I wish you and your family a Happy Christmas.

Belladonna.'

With the letters finished I tied them to there owners bags before calling Paramore, who was sleeping on the dog bed in his base form.

"Hey boy, I know it's late, but do you think you could deliver these for me?" I asked my familiar as I patted his head.

Paramore nodded before changing forms into a great horned owl. Ten minutes later and Paramore was gone, while I was already falling asleep with a slight smile on my face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Belladonna Rose Black**

 **Chapter Five**

 **Emotions**

* * *

 **AN: Hello reader, sorry about how long this chapter took. I had a rather busy last few weeks, on top of being sick. But at long a last here is Chapter five. As always this story is self betaed so if you see any mistakes please feel free to point them out to me either in a review or pm. Also I would like to wish my big sister a happy birthday, without her help this story would be have as good as it is. So big thanks and Happy Birthday Sis.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I don't in any way, shape, or form own Harry Potter.**

 **Warning: The rating for this story may change at a later date, there will be mention of child abuse and a dark theme.**

* * *

"BELLADONNA! Wake up! IT'S Christmas!"

I couldn't help letting out a squeak at the sudden and loud voice calling from the other side of my door. I almost fell off the bed trying to make my way quickly to the door. Opening the door I saw Sirius standing there still dressed in his pajamas, with a large grin on his face.

"Oh good you're awake, come on it's Christmas and there's presents to open!" Sirius said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room.

As we reach the stairs I remembered Sirius's gift still sitting on my desk, but before I had a chance to worry about it, Paramore appeared in his base form carrying the forgotten bag in his mouth. I smiled my thanks to him as I half listened to Sirius talk.

"I made us some Cocoa and there's lots of sweets, I even got us a tree. Just wait until you see it, I'm sure you're going to love it."

My mind was a mess of jumbled thoughts as I was pulled into the sitting room, but as I looked around the room my mind went blank. It looked different then what I had seen the night before, there were colorful fairy lights around the room as well as floating ornaments dancing around the ceiling, but the main change was the large tree that sat in the corner of the room. The tree was covered in even more fairy lights and ornaments, on the top of the tree was a glowing star that kept changing colors. Overall the room was stunning. I had to swallow hard around the lump that had formed in my throat.

"So, what do you think?" Sirius asked in a hopeful voice.

"It looks amazing," I answered as I turn to face him.

The smile on his face caused my emotions to begin whirling around inside of me, which in turn caused a slight pain to shoot through my body. I manage to force a smile as Sirius handed me a mug of cocoa and motioned for me to sit. I just managed to sit and take a small sip of my cocoa when a pile of gifts were placed in front of me. I looked up at Sirius who had taken a seat across from me, he still had a large smile on his face, I turned back to the gifts with a slight frown, I wasn't expecting this many presents.

'Where they all from Sirius?' I wonder to myself as fear began to bubble up within me. 'Would he like my gift? Was it enough? Should I have gotten him more? What do I do if he hates my present?'

"Aren't you going to open them?" Sirius asked suddenly breaking me from my thoughts.

"Of course," I said seeing the frown that had started to take form on Sirius's face.

I sat down my mug on the end table and reached out for one of the presents, the box was wrapped in a bright blue paper the crinkled under my hands. Turning it over, I heard something moving around inside, slowly I began peeling off the tape that was holding the paper in place. Once the box was free I gently place the paper to the side as I took the lid off, inside the box sat a foot high music box. Taking it in my hand I could see that it appeared to be made out of wood and painted black with a belladonna flower on the top. Hesitantly I lifted the lid, as soon as it was open music started playing. The melody was slow and sad, I looked at Sirius with a questioning look.

"The song is My Heart Will Go On, it was your mother's favorite song she use to sing it to you every night before you went to sleep." Sirius said answering my silent questioned.

 **(AN: yes I know the song didn't come out until 1996 just deal with it.)**

I turn back to the music box, the inside of the box was a dark blue velvet with places for necklaces and rings. I let the song play through once before I gently closed the lid and placed it to the side. I opened the rest of the gifts in much the same manner as I had the first. All together I received; a heart shaped locket with a picture of my mother, Sirius, and a baby me inside; two rather thick hand written journals filled with notes, one about Charms and the other on Ancient Runes both had been my mothers'; a silver charms bracelet with a black diamond in the form of a tiny raven, two miniature dogs both looking to be made out of blackwood, and a tiny opened book, the pages were silver while the cover was gold; all from Sirius. I also received a large book on Defence Against the Dark Arts, from Professor Lupin; which had a short note attached.

 _'Happy Christmas Belladonna,_

 _I would like to apologize for how I treated you last year. I know there is no excuse for my behavior, but I hope we can start again. I noticed that your essays were lacking in some information and given what I know about Hogwart's D.A.D.A. professors I thought this book might be of use to you. If you find yourself needing help in any of your classes, please write me, I would love to help._

 _Remus J. Lupin.'_

I didn't have much time to think over the note as I moved on to the next present, which was from Luna. In the box I found a handmade bracelet that was made by waving string around small colorful beads, attached was another note.

 _"Happy Holidays Belladonna,_

 _I hope you are having a wonderful time. Daddy and I are spending Christmas day at home this year rather than abroad. It has proven to be rather fun. I hope you like the bracelet I made for you, I made myself a matching one. Daddy helped me charm them so that whenever both are close to each other they will warm up slightly. It also has some protection charms, to keep nargles and the like away. I will see you on the train ride back to Hogwarts and you can tell me all about your break._

 _Love Luna'_

I smiled to myself as I placed the bracelet on. Before moving to the next gift, this one from Draco, or so it said, but if I had to guess I would say that it was really from Mrs. Malfoy. As I flipped through the pages of the book before me I couldn't help ponder the reason for it. The book was a thick volume on magic, I could find no name anywhere on the book, the worn cover was made out of faded leather. Not wanting Sirius to get overly curious about the book I placed it to the side and opened Harry's gift.

Inside the box I found a large assortment of candy from Honeydukes, at the bottom of the box hidden under all the candy was a small book. As I pulled it out I noticed that it was a diary, the cover was blank but it had a lock. When I open the book a small piece of paper fell out, picking it up I saw that it was a note from Harry.

 _'Happy Christmas Belladonna. I wasn't sure what to get you, but I figured everyone likes candy so I went with that. Anyways when I saw this book I thought you might like it. The store clerk said that if you prick your finger and place a small amount of blood on the latch then it would only open for you. I hope you like it. Harry.'_

Smiling slightly I placed the gift with the others as I turned to face Sirius, he was still smiling, I was beginning to wonder if his face had somehow gotten stuck like that.

"So, what did you think of your gifts?"

"I like them very much thank you, also I have something for you too."

I reached to the side of the couch, where Paramore was laying chewing his new bone and grab the bag next to him. With a bit of worry worming it's way through me I handed the bag to Sirius.

I watch silently as he opened the bag, I could feel my heart beating rapidly inside my chest. I had to stop myself from biting my lip as he pull the wooden box from it's nest of red paper. As I watched him open the box, I could feel my nails digging into my palm and a sharp pain shoot down my spine.

The room was silent for a while after that, I couldn't see Sirius's face behind the box. In the silents, I was left to my thoughts and I couldn't help thinking that gift giving was much more cumbersome than I first thought.

The next thing I knew was the feeling of familiar arms around me. I looked up and I could just make out Sirius with his face hidden in my hair. I frowned as I felt small drops of water dripping on my head.

Was he crying?

That thought sent a shiver down my back as I felt Sirius tighten his hold.

Was my gift so bad that it made him cry, or was he crying for another reason?

"Sirius? If you didn't like it I could get to something else." I said with a weak voice.

I felt Sirius pull away from me and watched as he waped away his tears before he spoke, " No, that's not it. I love my gift."

Could he be crying be cause he was happy? The idea of it was ludicrous, but there was no denying the large grin on his face.

With that thought, I felt myself smiling to.

* * *

I couldn't help smiling to myself as I made my way onto the train. My holiday break had end on a high note, I could still see the smile that had been on Sirius's face after he had opened his present. If I was being honest with myself, I had been more than a little frightened about how the gift would be received. But, it seem I had worried for nothing, Sirius loved the gift and that for some reason filled me with uncontrollable joy, so much so that I had a near constant pain shooting down my spine. I still wasn't sure what Luna and the boys thought of their gifts, having not heard back from them. The thought that they might not like their gifts cause a ball of nerves to form in my stomach. After all the gifts had been a last minute thing, so there was a chance they didn't like them.

I shook my head try to shake away my thoughts of self doubt, as I boarded the train.

"Belladonna!" called a familiar and happy voice as, looking around I saw Luna coming out of one of the compartments to my right.

"Hello, Luna did yo-..." I was cut off by Luna grabbing me in a rather tight hug, causing all the air to be forced from my lungs.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love my bunny, she so amazing." Luna exclaimed as she squeezed me ever tighter.

It might of been the lack of oxygen to the brain or some maybe a response of the many hugs I had gotten in the last few weeks. Whatever the cause I found myself enjoying to bone crushing hug and even returning it. Just as I was sure I would pass out for a reason other than overwhelming pain, Luna released me.

There was a large grin threatening to spit her face in half and causing her already big eyes to grow even larger. Honestly if it had been anyone other than Luna, then the look might have been considered creepy.

The grin stay on Luna's face even as we arrived at Hogsmeade and made our way to the carriage, only then did her smile falter. I follow Luna's eyes to the empty space at the front of the carriage and frown. I could just make out house like prints in the snow, so I knew something was there, but for some reason I couldn't see it. I slowly moved closer, only to be stopped by Luna grabbing a hold of my coat.

Turning to face her, I could see the fear in her eyes. Frowning I looked back at the carriage, what was there and why would Luna see it but I couldn't. I felt Paramore moving around in my pocket, until he poked his mouse forms head out and climb up my coat to sit on my shoulder. I watched as he too looked at the head of the carriage for a moment before he turned into a bunny and jumped into Luna's arms.

I felt myself relax, whatever was at the head of the carriage couldn't be anything dangers if Paramore wasn't worried about. I would have to research it later, but for now it would be best just to get the school.

I grabbed Luna's hand and lead her to the back of the carriage and help her up, so she didn't have to worry about falling while holding Paramore.

The short ride to the school was spent watching Luna as she petted Paramore, while my mind play back my goodbye with Sirius.

I had to all but order the man not to fallow me to the train station when I left. I knew he would be lonely in that big house all by himself, but for know it was the safest place for him. I had convinced him to invite Professor Lupin to stay with him, he had been rather upset with the man because of his treatment of me last year, but after much prodding he finally agreed, so hopefully he wouldn't be alone for long.

* * *

It was three days after the holiday break when Draco sat down at my table in the library. Luna had left only ten minutes ago to go to her runes class. I glanced at the Slytherin out of the corner of my eyes, he seemed upset by something if the frown on his face was anything to go by. With a sigh I finished the sentence I had been writing before setting my quill to the side and looking up.

He didn't say anything for a long minute but when he did I almost wish he hadn't.

"My Mother would like me to invite you to spend some time at our manor this summer."

My mind begin spinning there was noway I could spend anytime alone with either of the adult Malfoys, a least not until I was seventeen, there was no telling what either of them would do if I didn't have my magic to defend myself.

"You don't have to say anything, I understand that you don't want to go. I can't blame you, but my mother told me to use any means necessary to get her a faces to faces meeting with you."

A meeting? Know that I could work with.

"I see, well please tell your mother that while my summer is full I can move some things around so that we might have time for a day trip. Maybe we could do lunch if she knows anywhere good to eat."

I smile slightly as I watch my message sink in for Draco.

"You know cousin I think your mind just might be wasted in Ravenclaw."

I rolled my eyes as I said "No I don't thinks so, after all to be truly cunning one must be smart enough to think before they act and as we both know thinking is more of a Ravenclaw thing."

I couldn't help smirking as Draco's faces pulled into a pinched frown as he asked, " Are you saying Slytherins don't think."

Chuckling I answered "All I'm saying is you don't see the likes of Misters Crabbe and Goyle in Ravenclaw."

"Oh come on you can't base all Slytherins off those two, just because they are idiots doesn't mean all Slytherins are!" Draco yelled.

I raised an eyebrow at the flustered boy who at the moment didn't realize that what he said, had been more or less the same thing I said about why I didn't hate all muggles.

It was the day before we were to leave, Luna's father had withdrew her from school for an early holiday, so I was alone in library when Draco sat down.

"So Mother somehow found out that you're living in a orphanage and wants me to use that at as a way to turn you against muggles. " Draco said not bothering to wait for me to put my book away.

"Tell your mother that while I have no love for the muggle currently in my life, I don't see a reason to hate them all. Also if that's her base for an argument then why should I not hate all purebloods, after all the only reason I grew up in an orphanage was because a pureblood killed my mother, while another framed my father."

I hadn't bother putting my book down as I talked, but I could still see the disgruntled look that had appeared on Draco's face when I mention hating purebloods.

The boy glared at me for a moment before saying, " Very well I shall pass along your message."

The memory brought a questioned to the forefront of my mind, "Draco, tell do you honestly. Do you ever talk to me for a reason other than your mother telling you to? Because it seems that everytime we talk, you start with 'my mother'. Do you even think for yourself?"

Draco looked startled by the question, but also angered.

"Of course I think for myself! What do you take me for a Gryffindor?"

I rolled my eyes at him and with a shake of my head I said, "That's what I mean. How would you know how the Gryffindors are? Other arguing with Mister Potter and his friends or picking on the younger years, you've never talked to them. Like you just said how can you judge all of them on a few or only on what your told?"

Draco didn't say anything seemingly lost in thought.

"Draco do me a favor, I want you to make a list, well two lists. On one I want you to write do all the things your parents told you about why you should hate muggles and muggle borns, on the other write down what you really know about them and it has to be something you saw yourself not something heard about or read."

Draco seemed to be thinking about it, when Harry's voices called out, "Belladonna?"

Draco stood and whispering quickly, "I'll think about." Before he turn to leave not spare Harry a glaces as he passed him.

"Why were you talking to Malfoy?" Harry asked as he took Draco's abandone seat.

I rolled my eye, I knew this would happen sooner or later, but still I had hope it wouldn't be for a while yet.

"Hello to you Harry. How am I? I'm fine, thank you for asking and how are you? Oh Draco, yes we were talking, you see he's trying to turn me to the darkside I hear they have great cookies. Now, what can I do for you?"

Harry stared at me with a blank looked unsure it seemed, how to respond to my sense of humor. After sitting in silence for almost five minutes I stood saying "Well that was a riveting conversations, we must do it again sometime, but for now I'm afeared I have a class. So, please do excuse me. Oh, and if I don't talk to you again before then good luck on the second task. Goodbye."

Without waiting for a replay I left the library headed for potions, silently cursing my luck at have to deal with not only Draco and Harry but also Professor Snape within the say hour, never mind day.


End file.
